Shining Light in the Darkness
by FireBurnsBrighterInTheDark
Summary: What would happen if Peeta wasn't hijacked? What if Katniss realized sooner how much she actually loves her boy with the bread? This is my take on Mockingjay, especially on Katniss and Peeta's reunion, a little different from the book. More Everlark and Less war. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello my beautiful readers. This is my version of Mockingjay. Even thought I love the Hunger Games series, I hated how I was so anxious for Peeta to come back and be reunited with Katniss just to find out that he was hijacked. So if you are curious to know what would happen between our Start-Crossed Lovers keep reading. If you didn't read my other story "My Dandelion from the Ashes" you should give it a shot. Please review, your thoughts are really important to me. Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games**

Chapter 1

 **Katniss's POV**

 _Today I may lose both of them._ Gale was the first to volunteer. I can't think about a reason why he would do that. I can't imagine a world where I won't have any of them here with me. I may lose my best friend and the love of my life today, and this is driving me insane.

" _Do you want me to have them sedate you until it's over? Asks Haymitch._

"No, I'm fine. I want to be ready when they get here." Hamitch leaves and I'm left alone with Finnick. We spend the next few minutes in silence, each of us lost in our thoughts. _Making knots._ I don't want to think about it. _Fingers raw and bleeding._ What if is too late? What if Peeta is already dead? What if….

"KATNISS WE NEED YOU RIGHT NOW." I hear Haymitch yells from the door. _Finnick and I try to station ourselves in command,_ we have been waiting impatiently since the rescue crew left.

"What is happening? Are they here?" I ask as I follow Haymitch through the dark hallways of district 13. Once we get to the transmission room I look around for familiar faces. Beetee, Plutarch, Haymitch and President coin all stare at me and Finnick once we get in the room.

"What is going on?" I ask. I can see by their face expression that some thing went wrong. That's it, They are all dead.

"Sweetheart please sit down." Haymitch says. He points to one of the chairs next to Beetee.

"No I don't want to. Now can you please tell me what is going on?" I ask again, my voice growing louder. I look around again and they all seem to be deciding how to tell us.

"CAN YOU PLEASE JUST SAY IT?" I yell. Haymitch walks closer to me. I can feel Finnick right behind me.

"We don't know exactly what happened Katniss. We received a video message from Snow and all we know is that…..Katniss he….Snow knows that we have a rescue crew in the training center. We lost contact with them so we can't tell them what is happening. We don't know what Snow is planning to do and we can't let them know." He whispers. Suddenly I can't breath. This can't be happening, it all seemed like a terrible nightmare but now it is real.

"WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING…..YOU CAN'T LET THEM DIE IN THERE. PLEASE HAYMITCH DO SOMETHING."I yell. Tears are making my vision blurry and I can't breath. My lungs are on fire.

"We are trying Katniss, I swear we are trying." He says. I barely register Finnick leaving the room. I'm feeling dizzy and I can't see what is in front of me. I did not only lost my boy with the bread, now I'm about to lose Gale and some of our best soldiers.

"HAYMITCH I CAN'T STAY HERE AND WAIT. WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING….." I yell. Haymitch catches me as my knees give up on me. He hugs me tight and for the first time I feel like a child being comforted by her father.

"I CAN'T LOSE BOTH OF THEM…PLEASE HAYMITCH….I CAN'T LOSE BOTH OF THEM…..I CAN'T LOSE THEM….." I sob on his shoulder. Haytmich brings his hand up and caress my hair. I feel a sharp pain on my shoulder, a needle, before the world goes black.

When I wake up I'm back on a hospital bed. Haymitch is walking around the room and Finnick is nowhere to be found. I can read by Haymitch's expression that he didn't receive any new information.

"Oh hello there sweetheart." He says once he sees that I'm awake.

"Any news?" I ask. He shakes his head, of course not.

"I need to go back to the command room. If we have any news I will let you know as soon as possible." Haymitch says. He kisses my head before he leaves. I'm left alone with my thoughts. I've been through two Hunger Games and now I'm forced to lead a rebellion. The only thing I'm asking from this life is my Peeta and my best friend by my side. Haven't I suffered enough already? I just want them to be safe. I can't let Peeta die before I tell him how much I love him. I didn't know until I lost him. Peeta is the love of my life and I need him here with me if I want to keep living. I need him as much I need air to breathe.

I can't stay in this place anymore; I need to leave. I run until I find a place to hide from all this pain. I can't find the supply closet that I used to hide in so I use the first place I find, which happens to be the air conditioner closet. I curl myself in between the tubes and close my eyes. I feel so scared right now, I used to be the bravest one but now I feel like a coward. I take this moment to set my tears free like waterfalls. I cry for Gale, who volunteered to save Peeta because he noticed that I can't keep going without him, I cry for Johanna and Annie who were also captured and tortured by the capitol, I cry for the rescue crew that risked their own lives to save the victors, and finally I cry for my boy with the bread who I may never see again. I should've let Peeta know how much he meant to me before I let him out of my sight that night.

I spend what feels like hours crying my eyes out and letting myself be weak and dependent. I can't keep holding to so much pain, my heart feels like it's about to explode. I barely notice when the closet door opens and Haymitch appears.

" _They are back. We're wanted in the hospital." My mouth opens with a flood of questions that he cuts off with "That's all I know."_ I wipe my cheeks with my sleeves as fast as I can and follow Haymitch to the hospital floor. I should feel relieved, they are back which means they were faster than Snow, they escaped. But what if they didn't rescue the victors, what if they didn't rescue Peeta? I can't accept that this mission was in vain. Gale would never leave without them, right?

We get in the elevator and Haymitch presses the button for the hospital. I barely wait until the doors open and sprint through the hallways. There are people everywhere but I don't recognize any of the faces. I make my way through the crowd searching for someone I'm familiar with. That's when I see her, Johanna Mason. She is surrounded my doctor but I can still see her flesh showing bruises and oozing scabs and her head is shaved. But what scares me the most is the look in her eyes, like of an animal ready to catch its prey, wild. I can't bring myself to come any closer to her so I keep searching for someone who may help me.

"Finnick!" I hear a young girl yelling; a young woman with a light shade of brown hair and sea green eyes. She runs straight into Finnick's arms and for a moment it's like they are the only ones in the world. _They collide, enfold, lose their balance, and slam against a wall, where they stay. Clinging into one being. Indivisible._ If Johanna and Annie were rescue so Peeta must be here somewhere, I need to find him. I may finally be reunited with the love of my life. I finally see Gale and Boggs sitting on a corner. Gale has a bandage around his left shoulder and Boggs looks a little worse for wear but uninjured.

"Gale!" I yell as I run into his warm embrace.

"Are you okay? What happened?" I ask, my voice sounding desperate but I don't care, it feels so good to have him back safe and sound.

"We were about to leave when the hell broke lose. Some peacekeepers tried to attack us but they didn't stand a change against our weapons and the gas. Of course it took some time for it to work so some of us got in a fight against them. And I'm okay, thanks for asking." He says.

"Gale, thank you. Thank you so much." I say as I hug him tighter.

"Drop it Catnip, I know you are not here to see me. He is at the end of the hall. May I tell you to prepare yourself, he is pretty hurt and very confused." I nod before giving him a kiss on the cheek. I run towards the end of the hall and to my surprise Haymitch is already waiting outside the glass door.

"They asked me to wait until they are done. Sweetheart, he won't stop asking about you." He says. I smile and look through the glass. _Peeta is sitting on the side of the bed, a trio of doctors reassure him, flash lights in his eyes, check his pulse. Peeta._ He is here with me. _Alive and well – maybe not well but alive and here. Away from Snow. Safe. Here. With Me. In a couple minutes_ I will be able to be with him and nobody in this world will ever separate us again.

"How is he?" I ask.

"I won't lie to you Katniss. He is hurt, both physically and emotionally. But I'm sure that he will feel better once he sees you." Haymitch says.

"Did you talk to him?"

"I did, for a couple seconds. He is really confused of course. I couldn't get anything from him since he wouldn't stop calling for you. He was just waking up anyway."

So he misses me as much as I miss him. Oh my Peeta, I can't wait another second to be with you again. Haymitch and I spend the next couple of minutes watching the doctors working on Peeta. Only when they start cleaning and bandaging his wounds I have to look away, I can't contain the tears when I see his blood all over their hands. How could snow do that to my boy with the bread, my lover, my Peeta. When they are done, one of the doctor come out to talk to Haymitch and me.

"Evening Soldier Everdeen and . I know you must be anxious for some information about Peeta, if I may call him by his first name. We ran some tests and everything seems as normal as it could be. He will probably suffer some kind of posttraumatic disorder but I'm sure that he will be fine since he has people who care for him and are here to help him. We will need to keep him here for a couple days to take care of his wounds and bruises, they look pretty bad if I may say so." The doctor tells us. I don't think I'm ready to go in a see Peeta with his body completely deformed.

"Soldier Everdeen, he really wants to see you." I nod. The doctor steps aside so I can open the door and walk in. Peeta is facing the other wall while two nurses are injecting tubes in his arms. I walk close to him and I can see that his eyes are closed and his expression shows pain. It breaks my heart to see him like this so I take his hand in mine.

"Peeta?" I whispers and that's when his eyes open and look straight into mine.

 **Here we go little Mockingjays. Hope you liked this story so far. I will update as soon as I can. Please review and see you next time.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hello Mockingjays. Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and followers…you made my days. I'm sorry for taking too long but I'm still deciding where I'm going with this story. Don't worry, I won't abandon it, and I hope you won't either. Keep reviewing please! Hope you enjoy this chapter…**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games**

Chapter 2

 **Katniss's POV**

For a moment we are both paralyzed. I look deep into those ocean azure eyes while he is looking deep into my own. I walk carefully closer to him until our knees touch. "K-K-Kat..niss?" He whispers, his voice weak and hoarse. Peeta gently lifts up his hand to my cheek and caresses it softly. "Yes, it's me." I whisper. My hand reaches up for the one he has on my cheek, my thumb stroking the back of it. I take his other hand in mine and squeeze it, trying to assure him that this moment is real. He looks around the room, unsure of where he is. "D-D-Don't let..let them…hurt y-y-you." He stops and takes a deep breath. "I-I will.. I will protect y-you." He whispers. "Peeta. Shhh, I'm here now, we are okay. You are safe now, nobody will hurt us, nobody will hurt you." I repeat this last part more for my sake than his. "Nobody will hurt you. I'm here." He brings his face closer to mine and our lips touch delicately, just for a second. His chapped lips are cold and pale, but they still fit perfectly against mine, like two puzzle pieces.

"I thought I would never see you again." I don't try to hide the tears as they fall. I let myself believe for so long that Peeta was dead, that President Snow made sure that I would be broken beyond repair. It all changed when I saw his first propo, I let myself hope that I would have him back safe and sound. Since his announcement about the bombing of District 13, I came to wish he were dead. I know that Snow made him pay for it, and this thought makes more tears run freely down my face until I'm holding back sobs.

"D-D-Don't leave..m-me again..please. You are…you are the…only thing k-k-keeping me s-s-sane." Tears fall down his face, and like me he is also freely crying. I position my body in between his legs and pull his head to rest on my chest as I caress his blond curls. The terror in his eyes makes my heart ache and the hot blood run through my veins. He lifts his strong arms that have grown weaker from months of torture, and wraps them around me. We just keep holding each other for what feels like hours. I squeeze him to me as hard as I can without hurting him. I want to make my message clear. That he is safe with me, I will never leave him again, now he can relax. I also make myself a promise, I will get into the Capitol and I will kill Snow. That man will pay for what he has done to my Boy with the Bread. He will be sorry, I will make sure of it.

We are pulled apart by one of the nurses cleaning her throat. "I wish I could let you two catch up a little more but we need to finish some tests and make sure everything is fine. Why don't you come back later Ms. Everdeen?" I glare at her. How dare these people separate us when I just got him back?

"Yes, sweetheart. You are being called in command. So, what about you come with me and I will bring you back right after dinner?" I haven't noticed Haymitch standing behind us. Peeta turns his head and his blue eyes lock on Haymitch. For a moment I think they will just nod at each other and ignore their presence, but Haymitch walks around the bed and pulls Peeta in a tight hug.

"It's good to have you back son. Sweetheart here can now function as a human being again." Haymitch whispers, a little too loud, as he pulls away. I scowl at him, but I can't deny he is right. Without Peeta I couldn't function. Since the day I woke up in District 13 and found out that he was in the Capitol, being torture by Snow and his crew, I was a living vegetable. I need Peeta as I need air to survive, I just regret taking so long to admit it to myself.

"We will be back after dinner. Rest and be nice to the doctors." Haymitch says as he takes my arm and starts dragging me out of the room. I stare into Peeta's eyes, not wanting to leave him here. What is he gets taken away again? What if someone hurts him?

"I don't want to go." I say, trying to free my arm from Haymitch's grasp. Last thing I see is Peeta's attempt to smile and mouthing 'It's okay' as Haymitch closes the white door on my face. I still don't move, I can't bring myself to leave him again. It feels like the Arena, someone is separating us and I'm letting it happen.

"I can't…I can't…" I whisper.

"Sweetheart let's go. We got a meeting to attend and then we will be back here after dinner."

"No, Haymitch. Let go..." his grip on my arm is so tight it is hurting me.

"Katniss listen, he is fine, he will be okay. Now get yourself together and be strong. We will come back here later, I promise you." Hesitantly I walk with Haytmich towards the elevator. We ride it down to the "main" and lowest level and make our way to the command room.

As I was expecting we are the last ones to show up. I take a sit on one of the two empty chairs, next to Boggs, while Haytmich takes the one on my other side.

"Well, now that we have everybody present we may start." Coin begins. I don't pay much attention to whatever she is saying; instead I glance around the room searching for familiar faces. Cressida. Castor. Pullux. Messala. The entire camera crew is here. Plutarch. President Coin. Haytmich. A couple soldiers and Coin's assistants that I don't recognize. Gale. He seems to be very interested in whatever the president is saying. His eyes are fixed on her and he nods once in a while.

` "What do you think Mockingjay?" I'm brought back to reality. I have no idea what she is asking me about.

"I agree." Is my answer. I thought about admitting that I'm very lost on the current subject, but the more she talks the longer it will be until I see Peeta again. Haymitch stares at me with a look of disapproval and Gale finally turns his attention to me, looking shocked. I don't have to wait much longer until the meeting is over and we are all to go to the cafeteria.

I walk as fast as I possibly can, partly to get dinner over with and partly to avoid Haymitch, but there is no use.

"Katniss, what were you thinking?!" He catches up to me as I'm about to enter the elevator and pulls me aside.

"I don't know what you mean." I say honestly.

"Of course…" He mumbles under his breath. "Of course you weren't paying attention to a single word that woman said. Then why in the world would you agree to such a thing?"

"What are you taking about?" My voice is shaking and I'm sure Haymitch can hear my accelerated heartbeats. Whatever I just agreed to do can not be good.

"Sweetheart, you have no idea what you just put yourself into."

 **Thanks for reading. It will be a couple days until I update again, but I promise to do so as fast as possible.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hello there my dear readers. I'm back! #TheReturn… I apologize profusely for not updating in such a long time. I've had to deal with some personal problems and my newly found adult life. It sucks… Anyway, I will try to find time between work and college researches to update this story as often as possible. Thank you for understanding. Enjoy chapter 3.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games**

Chapter 3

 **Katniss's POV**

My heart beats furiously in my chest. What have I done? "Katniss, you just gave coin the green light to go ahead with the plan to take down the nut!" I know Haymitch can see the confusion on my face. "You weren't paying attention at all, were you?" I shake my head.

"Let me try to summarize this entire meeting just for you. District 2 has a military base called The Nut which is why they are favored by the capitol; it produces weapons for the peacekeepers and military. Coin believes that destroying it will not only weaken the Capitol but also bring District 2 to our side." I take a deep breath, trying to process all the information Haymitch is giving me.

"What is the problem with destroying The Nut?" I ask.

"Unless you have a problem with burying everyone in it alive, I don't see any trouble Sweetheart."

"She can't do that!" I scream. Many faces, who were apparently walking pass us, glare at me. I ignore them all, but make sure to speak in a more civilized way when I continue. "Not everyone in that place is to be blamed; we can't expect to be any different from Snow if we kill innocents."

"Then I wish you all the best luck changing Coin's mind." I walk away from Haymitch and make my way to the cafeteria. I can't be a part of cold blooded assassination of people who are doing nothing more than what the Capitol obligates them to do.

As I arrive in the cafeteria I walk straight to the table I always sit at. Gale, Prim and my mother already have their plates in front of them, having a light conversation and smiling as if nothing is happening outside of their little group. I sit on the chair next to Gale, opposite from Prim.

"Katniss, I thought you were not going to show up here anytime soon." Prim says. I see the smile on her face and I know exactly what she means. She thought I was not going to leave Peeta's side. Well, neither did I. "I was kind of forced, little duck" I reply.

"I saw him before I made my way here." My mother says in her soft voice, hardy above a whisper.

"How is he? Is he okay? Has he eaten yet?" I, once again, scream the words out. My mother looks startled. Prim has grin on her face. From the corner of my eye I see Gale chew on his food a little too brutally and at least half of the dining room turn their faces to glare at me. Again, I ignore their disapproval. Once everyone seems to find their ways and mind their own business, my mother answers me.

"He was fine. The doctors had just finished treating some of his wounds and he was in a little pain. So I asked if one of his nurses could give him something so he would be able to rest for a while. He was just on the edge of sleep when I left." I look down at my lap. I remember how Peeta and I used to ignore the sleeping pills once we came back from our first Hunger Games. We both agreed that they would just put us deeper into the world of nightmares, and make it harder for us to escape from it. If he chose this path, then I can only imagine that he is either very tired or trying to find a relief for both physical and emotional pain.

"What you did today, in command, what was that exactly?" Gale whispers so only I can hear him.

"I didn't know…" Since I know that I won't be able to eat, I'm too worried about this whole situation with the Nut and Peeta, I excuse myself from the table without another word about it and walk back to the command room. There isn't a single soul as I pass through the pit and ride the elevator up. Everyone around here follow their schedules without a flaw. Everyone except for me. I don't even bother knocking as I open the heavy metal door slowly. Coin and Plutarch are still sitting on the same spot they were during the meeting.

"Miss Everdeen, should I remind you that it is not polite to interrupt without notice?" Coin asks, her voice biter.

"I needed to talk to you, it's urgent." I say, taking a chair opposite from her. Plutarch eyes me suspiciously. "I want to take back what I said during the meeting. I do not agree with killing those people inside the fortress. I will not be a part of it, and I seriously hope you reconsider what you are planning to do." I try to keep my voice steady and firm.

"Ms. Everdeen, I shall remind you that you seemed to agree with the conditions spoken by President Madam Coin when your position was requested." Plutarch speaks. I glare at him. "But I changed my mind. I will not be part of murdering people who are not the enemies. The civilians in that place are part of Snow's game just as me and so many others were. They are on our side, but they don't have a choice." I try to sound convincing. If only I had Peeta's golden tongue, I would have these two eating on the palm of my hand. Just as Coin is opening her mouth probably to argue about how I don't have another choice, Plutarch beats her by saying "We will try to find a way to leave an alternative route, a way of escape for the district 2 civilians who are willing to surrender. We will be waiting with a group of well trained soldiers. That is, of course, a plan that will have to be approved by Commander Lyme."

I nod my head, at least there is hope to fix my mistake. Coin doesn't try to hide the look of disapproval on her face, but doesn't argue with Plutarch. Before she can change her mind I get up and leave the room. I wait until the door fully closes behind me before I sigh in relief, I don't know what I would do if I was to be responsible for more deaths.

Before I am fully aware of where my feet are taking me, I find myself riding the elevator to the Hospital floor. I make my way through the white corridors, the smell of disinfectant and medicinal herbs filling my nostrils. I automatically follow the same path I did a couple hours before, filling just as anxious to find the person who will be standing behind the plain door at the very end.

"Katniss!" I hear my name being called by a sweet and childish but just as strong and determined voice. She runs to me and wraps her small arms around my body, giving me a warm hug. "Hi Little Duck. I imagined you would still be at dinner." My sister looks up at me, her shining blue eyes so similar to the ones I'm so desperate to see right now.

"I got called here for an emergency. I've been wanting to talk to you." She grins "I'm so happy for you, about Peeta." She says enthusiastically. I smile down at her, feeling it reach my eyes for the first time in so long I can't remember. I know my own happiness is radiating from my eyes.

"Prim, I…" As it is expected from me, I can't put my feeling into words. "He has been transferred to a regular room at the West Wing, I will show you where it is. That is, if you were here looking for him..." Her teasing tone makes me blush. She knows exactly the reason why I am here, but like most people I have met so far, she enjoys pushing my buttons. She leads the way and I follow, my heart beating accelerating with each step we take. "I went to talk to him right after they moved him to the new room. I hope you don't mind." There she goes again. I shake my head, purposely letting my hair fall on my face to hide, my once again, burning cherry red cheeks. I don't understand, I love Peeta and I have no doubt of it, then why do I feel so embarrassed when someone brings up my feelings even when all I want is to scream at the top of my lungs how I feel about the Boy with the Bread?

I make a decision to push myself more to be the girl Peeta deserves. I want to be the girl that smiles when I see him, who gives him a lovely kiss for no apparent reason, the one who cuddles with him all day long just simply because she enjoys his company more than anything, the one who has no problem repeating those three words not just as a whisper next to his ear but shouting it out for the whole world to know. Prim turns to me, pointing to a door on the right. I nod and mouth a "thank you", I gently turn the knob as I remember that maybe my efforts will be of no use. We are not regular teenagers who seem to have found the love of their lives. We are in the middle of a war, not knowing how long we have or if we are going to survive it. Surprisingly these thoughts only make me more determine to make the time we have together the best it can be. I want to let my feelings, this consuming feeling, I have for Peeta take over me. I want to live, not just survive. I'm excited to put my plan to work when I enter the room and spot the blonde haired boy lying on the bed covered with snow white sheets. But it all comes crashing down as soon as my eyes land on his face…

 **So this is it everyone, another cliffhanger :). I will try to give you another chapter still this week. Thank you for reading and review if you have something to say. PS: No, Peeta is not hijacked**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Yes, I know. I promised to update sooner but time is short on this side. I really want to try and organize my schedule so I will have more time to write but… well, I'm trying. Last chapter didn't have many reviews, one of the reasons why I kind of lacked interest in writing this, I'm not sure there are enough people liking it. Anyway, Here is chapter 4.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games**

Chapter 4

 **Katniss's POV**

His skin almost blends with the bed sheets. The monitor that is supposed to be in sync with his heartbeats is beeping too slowly to be normal.

"Peeta?" barely a whisper, my voice is shaking too much for me to talk. He doesn't answer, not even a movement. He looks completely unconscious, as if in a deep coma.

I only register my body taking action as I sprint to the door and start asking for help. "HELP! Someone, please. I need a nurse here." Immediately there is a group of young doctors and nurses rushing towards the desperate shouts, one of them being my own mother.

"Katniss! What is going on?" tears start streaming down my face so I just point towards Peeta's bed. My mother takes lead as the doctors and nurses surround the environment, making it almost impossible to see what is happening. "Blood pressure is low", "Faint heartbeat", "Peeta? Peeta, can you hear us?" are a couple sentences I can make out from all the people speaking at the same time. Suddenly I feel a pair of weak arms encircle me, they don't bring the same comfort as the arms of the boy lying almost lifeless on the bed, but they bring me a certain calm and serenity.

"Katniss, I will need you to go find Haymitch and ask him to be with you for a while. We are going to run some tests and find out what is wrong with Peeta, but I can't have you here for that." I shake my head; I don't want to leave his side. "We are doing the best we can. You are going to have to trust me on this one." I start feeling lightheaded. My mother's slender arms lead me to the waiting room and help me get settled on the couch. She pulls on my left arm until I lay down on my side, facing her. Her hair is on my hair, caressing slowly, comforting me. For the first time since my father died I feel as if I'm the defenseless child being cared for by her mother. I close my wet and swollen eyelids, succumbing to the darkness.

When my eyes open again they feel heavier than before, as if my disturbed mind couldn't bring itself to shut down for even a moment. Haymitch is sitting on what is left of the couch next to my feet.

"Good Morning Sweetheart." He sounds tired, as if all the events have finally starting to catch up to him. I wouldn't be as insensitive as to say that having my mentor with me more often than not isn't somewhat comforting, since now he is being forced until accepting life sober. We are more alike than any of us would be willing to admit, he understands me better than anyone; anyone expect my Peeta.

"What time is it?" I ask hoarsely, my throat feeling dry and raw. Haymitch notices it as he stands up and goes to grab me a cup of water from the fountain by the small television in the room. "I wouldn't guess, since it always seems to be the same hours down here. But from the looks of it, it should be around dawn time" As I'm pushing myself to a sitting position he hands me the cup and I drink it all in one gulp. "Before you can ask, and trust me I was surprised it wasn't your very first question, Peeta has been stabilized. After the rush from being back and seeing his beloved little hunter again, all the dehydration and poor nutrition from his time in the Capitol took a toll on him. I trust we got him out of there just in time, I don't want to think what could've happened." I look down at my hands that are resting on my lap, the stubborn tears fighting their way out and sliding down my sunken cheeks.

"When can I see him?" my voice barely above a whisper, I hate to show this kind of weakness, especially in front of my mentor.

"I'm not sure. The doctors are finishing up with whatever they are doing to ensure he is on the right track. Your mother was here not long ago, she tried explaining the procedures but I swear I understood her less than I understand Effie." I nod my head. I'm still in shock, my mind still not registering that Peeta is somewhat stable and being well taken care of. I have a tendency of always waiting for the worst case scenario; I guess it is just part of everything that has happened in my life. While Peeta was in the Capitol, I was sure that I was never going to see him again, that he was gone for good. But I was given a second chance, and for the first time I let myself hope. I was in a dream state where I let myself wonder how my life would be now, next to the boy I love; just to be crushed by the sight as soon as I entered his room. In my head he was, is, dead.

I'm surprised by a pair of small but determine and comforting arms around my shoulders. I rest my head on my little sister's chest; she begins to stroke my hair.

"They won't let me in. I heard they rushing to his room, I tried following them and helping too but they said they needed doctors with more experience. I should've noticed, I'm so sorry Katniss. He told me he was fine when I went in, He was a little tired and sleepy but I never thought…" I cut her off throwing my arms around her shoulders and hug her tightly. "There is nothing to apologize for Prim. I just… He could've died all alone, imprisoned in a white room with nobody to help him. I should've been there, I wanted to be there… but Coin…" I don't finish. I close my eyes as more tears flow, burying my face in Prim's neck, smelling her familiar scent combined with the unpleasant smell of disinfectant and sickness.

"Katniss?" I hear my mother's voice. I break our embrace and stand up a little too fast, immediately feeling dizzy. Prim reacts quickly and stand next to me, supporting me by graphic my forearm. "Come on." She gestures me to follow her. We go through the white hallways, getting closer to Peeta's room.

"Did Haymitch talk to you about it?" I shake my head. "He only said something about poor nutrition and dehydration; he said he didn't understand you." And I can't exactly blame him. "That is right. Peeta is suffering of malnutrition and dehydration, caused by the time he spent under Snow's torture." I feel the hate rise up. "The best way we encounter to deal with it was by enteral feeding." I frown. "That means that we have inserted a feeding tube. It will ensure the adequate intake of fluid and nutrient for him. We don't want to exhaust him with oral intakes; the other doctors didn't think he was strong enough."

She opens the door to his room and I hesitate, I don't want a repeat of my earlier experience. "You can come in. He is still not how we would like, but he is getting there." I walk in slowly, focusing on my breathing. Peeta is still lying on his white bed, surrounded by white sheets, but they only cover his lower half. His torso is bare, rising slowly as he breaths, there are gauzes and bandages covering the left side of his abdomen, I almost feel sick when I see the blood stains and the tube coming out of it. I approach his sleeping form slowly and place my hand on his warm forehead. I sit on the chair next to his bed, placing my head on his chest while my hand has moved to caress his blond curls.

"Does it hurt him?" I ask assuming my mother knows I'm talking about the tube coming out of his stomach.

"We expect some discomfort during the first couple hours or even days. He may also feel a little nauseous, at least until he adapts to it. We will be checking regularly for signs of infection or any side effects." She lifts one of the bloody bandages to check the small incision, now I feel sick. "I had to convince the native 13 doctors to let you be here. I believe Peeta has gone through enough by himself, and that you could be an additional strength to him. But we will need you to be strong; we both know your history with patients."

"I will do whatever it takes for him. I just want… I just want my Peeta back." I whisper.

"And he will be back. We are doing everything we can. And Katniss…" I take my name as a clue to look straight into my mother's exhausted blue eyes. "I will do anything possible for him." She declares in her calming motherly voice. I don't know why, but her affection towards Peeta makes me a little fond of her. I give her the best representation of a smile I can manage. "I will be checking other patients in the hallway, call if anything." She opens the door delicately and leaves. Finally, I'm alone with my love.

"Peeta, my Peeta…" I begin, hoping deep down that he would be able to hear me. "You scared me. I know you deserve to hear all this, face to face, but I'm too much of a coward. I don't know how I ended up as the face of this war, they are so mistaken about me. I wish you knew how much you mean to me." I try to control the shaking in my voice; I have to be strong for him. "The truth is, I don't think I can live without you. I used to take pride in being independent, after losing my father I was too scared to care about anyone, other than Prim because I didn't have a choice. But you are here, taking over my heart and making me feel things I've never thought I would. So please, I need you Peeta. I need you so much. I lo…" I don't finish because as I look up from the place on his chest where my head was resting, I'm met with his gaze, filled with love, desperation and pain.

"Peeta?"

"Kat…Katni…" cough. "Katniss" he struggles.

 **I know, another cliffhanger. I just didn't want this chapter to get too long so. Until next time, and don't forget to review, please.**


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